Dethklok Talks About Metalocalypse
Q: First, let’s start with the persistent rumors that Dethklok has signed a contract with the devil. Can you finally put this to rest?
William Murderface: I’ll put you to rest.
Toki Wartooth: The devil is dildoes.
Nathan Explosion: There is no such thing as the devil because there has to be a god in order for there to be a devil. And we all know there is no god. And if there were a GOD then he would have protected us from signing that deal with the devil. And now we’re stuck with a deal with some guy who doesn’t even exist.
Q: If Dethklok is the heaviest band in the world, and also the most popular band in the world, what does that say about the world?
WM: I’d like to destroy world hunger by destroying the world.
TW: I love questions, and dats a good one.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: It means nothing because, heavy or not, the world is a black vortex of black Nothingness and I hate our audience.
Q: The band has both the world’s fastest and second-fastest guitarists alive in it. Is that a bit of overkill?
WM: I’ll overkill you.
TW: No, it’s “underlive.” Ha ha.
SS: Not at all. As the fastest guitarist, I prefer to have someone a little worse at guitar in the band, like Toki. Because I think you would takes it for granted that I am the best. Like you get used to a room filled with the smell of roses until you go into a room with a rotting corpse smell – then you go back to the roses room and extra appreciates it a greats degrees better.
Q: Is it too loud, or am I too old?
WM: I’m too fat.
TW: You gots hairs in your ears.
Pickles: It is loud. It’s very loud. Before each show I have liquid concrete poured into my ears so that I don’t cause permanent damage. You gotta protect your ears, anyone will tell you that. But what they don’t tell you is that you should protect other parts of your body from loudness – for example, we now have to travel with a gastroenterologist.
Q: Nathan, you have a distinctive vocal style. What do you do to take care of your voice and still fill it with anger and hate?
WM: I’m not Nathan.
NE: Two words: Potato chips and chocolate milk. I can go for days smoking and drinking and killing myself staying awake, but have a glass of chocolate milk and a handful of potato chips and I’m good to go.
Q: What’s heavier – your music or your lyrics?
WM: The lyrsmusic…shut up!
TW: Oooh, good question, it’s like a two-parter.
Pickles: We had them professionally weighed recently and the difference is fractional. But the lyrics actually were heavier. The one lyric that tipped the scales was “I have a hate horse torso whose face is a Corpse/ Lacerated innards and a ding dong doodily dorpse.” Now that’s heavy.
Q: What kind of gear do you use?
WM: Krank amps and Gibson guitars.
TW: Gibson guitars and Krank amps, but Krank won’t give us no hoodies.
SS: Gibson guitars. I stick with my Explorer and Toki usually plays a V, Krank amps- right now I'm using the KRANKENSTIEN, Line 6 pedals, Digidesign plug ins. We gots endorsement deals with alls of them. We can wrecks dem all- they just give us more.
Q: What are your influences – musical and otherwise?
WM: Those awesome medical shows about really fat people and tumors.
TW: Depression and wind.
SS: My influences is my parent. I hates her beyond beliefs.
NE: I’d have to say I’ve influenced myself a lot. I listen to myself on records sometimes and think, “I could do that...”
Pickles: The sound of drums influences me. I say that I think because I am a drummer. And cymbals.
Q: What will it take for Dethklok to “sell out”?
WM: We sell out every night, dildo.
TW: We sells out every night.
NE: Selling out is a point of view thing. I’ve redefined my word definitions of “selling out.” I call it making things “more metal,” and now it’s impossible to sell out. We don't sell out at all. And we never will. I dare you to try. Seriously. Offer us any amount of money. And we’ll take it. And we’ll make it “MORE METAL.”
Q: Death and mayhem seem to follow the band. Unlucky or cursed? Does it affect your music?
TW: Dat’s life, deals with it.
Pickles: Death happens whether or not we are there. Though there does seem to be a little more when we are around. That’s why we have the audience sign “Pain Waivers” to get into our show. It basically states that the audience is signing their life away should something horrible and “death-inducing” happen during one of our shows. And we can’t be sued. Pretty smart!
Q: What is life on the road like for Dethklok? Do you prefer the seclusion of the studio to the adoration of thousands?
TW: Thousands?! You mean billions!
SS: The way I looks at it is that you can’t f**k studio gear. Well, you can. But it’s better to be on the road and f**k things there – there are more options and shapes.
Q: What inspires Dethklok?
WM: A flower with its brains blown out.
TW: Everything must die.
NE: For me, it’s humor. The fact that we are rich and that we will die eventually. See, that’s kind of funny to me.
Q: Any thought about solo projects? What does Dethklok do to relax?
WM: My solo project is called Planet Piss. Like it or not, who gives a piss?
TW: I likes to answer questions and build models.
SS: We relax with alcohol and Drug Buckets. And everybody’s working on solo stuff always. That’s cool. I’m in a Harry Potter tribute band called “10 Points to Gryffyndor.” Also, I’m in a nudist Civil War styled band called “Depantsification Proclamation.”
Q: Is Dethklok’s music art?
WM: When it’s painted on your face.
TW: We gots an album cover of a Mona Lisa with blood.
SS: Art is stupid. There is only food and death. So to answer your question: our music is both food and death.
Q: Much is made about Dethklok’s penchant for pain and metal. But what about the groupies? Are there special ladies in the lives of Dethklok?
WM: You mean like retarded?
TW: I don’t wears no penchant.
SS: I have no recollection of most of the women that I’ve slept with except for the paternity suits, which are null simply because they must sign a “fatherhood waiver,” before a screw.
Source: Cartoon Network Pressroom (Now defunct)